in completely random news, the new season of grey's anatomy starts tonight and i can barely contain my excitement.
i became a grey's fan after my roommate Liz showed it to me in the fall. Now i have watched every single season and episode and would gladly watch them all over again.
in somewhat related news, i start working at the hospital on friday. im partly ecstatic and partly ready to throw up in anxiety.
i did get some new scrubs, in pretty prints because i despise ill-fitting ones with angels on them that say "nurses are caring", or they have the fairies carrying stethoscopes. i am pretty sure my patients can get the general idea even if i am in cute scrubs. i have discovered the koi brand scrubs. they, although not exactly runway worthy, are fitted and well-made so they hang nicer on me than the terrible walmart ones. being petite does not lend itself to well fitting scrubs, and size "small" are NOT for actual size small women. I had to get mine is double zero and xxs, just to be able to wash and dry them. i guess most nurses are not my size. which leads me to my list of anxieties:
1) large patients. i have a terrible fear of being squashed by a patient. no lie. i weigh all of 98 pounds. i have no clue how i will left anyone up. maybe itll be like the movies, where you get a rush of adrenaline! yeah, let's go with that...
2)poop. i know nurses are supposed to be okay with this, but after a particularly traumatizing event with poop during a previous clinical rotation, i can feel myself gaq just thinking about it. throw up, i can handle. vomit on me all you want, i am not phased. blood, guts, intestines falling out, brains, hearts, anything. ANYTHING but poop. i hope i don't hurl on anyone this term.
3)missing some terribly obvious thing. i really don't want my patients to die. really. like, alot. and especially not because of something stupid i do. you have to be on your game 24/7, every minute, because people's lives are in your hands. talk about pressure.
"I can't think of a single reason why I should be a surgeon, but I can think of a thousand reasons why I should quit. They make it hard on purpose... there are lives in our hands. There comes a moment when it's more than just a game, and you either take that step forward or turn around and walk away. I could quit but here's the thing, I love the playing field."-grey's