Sunday, May 30, 2010

there is a misconception about being a band wife (or, in my case, almost wife). everyone thinks it must just be the most glamorous job in the world, that it's all free concerts and easy income and getting to meet everyone on the ccm A-list. when i met drew in april of 2008, over two years ago now, i honestly didn't know what this life was all about. it sure sounded fun...getting to travel all the time, VIP passes to every single show, travel and concerts and flying and road trips. what was there not to like? and then it began, and it, quite honestly, has been the hardest thing i have ever done. it's so much more than fun and travel and friends, though it is those things, it also means that some nights, i get phone calls that are just six minutes long. for the whole day. we have never been together on a year anniversary. we have missed each other's birthdays for what is about to be the fourth birthday. it means we have to sit down and review iCals over videochat so we can get a date night. it means drew never gets to go to church on Sundays, and it means every time i go out to dinner with friends, i'm the only one without a date. it means valentines day, i get to go out with my girlfriends, because my valentine is somewhere in South Carolina, unloading a trailer. i don't get flowers and date night every week. i am lucky if i get one once a month. i spend my evenings staying up late enough to hear his voice. it means falling asleep with the iPhone in your hand. some nights it honestly just doesnt seem like its ever going to be easier...there have been many times when drew and i hang up the phone just discouraged. ask any band wife...they will tell you we all have meltdown nights...times when it just isnt fair, when all you want is NORMAL. i was thinking about this the other day...

my Ring means something. sometimes i forget how hard it is for Drew. at least i get community here at home. i have friends and school and work and as lonely as it is for must be a hundred times harder for him. but when he asked me to marry him, he asked me to marry all of it. all the lonely nights and travel and anniversaries alone. and honestly? i wouldnt trade a moment. it's been a difficult, joyous ride, and my goodness, he loves me. God is so faithful to keep us together because everything else has tried to tear us apart, sometimes almost succeeding.

and so, when i took that beautiful diamond and he slipped it on my meant Yes.
Yes to lonely nights and Yes to short phone calls and Yes to this rough season we are in.
isn't that what Jesus does for us? He looks at all the reasons why He would stop being our Beloved...and He still says Yes, I want you and i save you and I redeem you, and I give you my name.


How thankful i am for my beloved, and moreover, for my Beloved.

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