after conducting a modesty survey among some guy friends (these guys are everything from college students to athletes, musicians, pastors, authors, college students, dads, husbands, high schoolers, non Christian guys, and Christian guys)
here's what i heard:
'What would you like to tell all girls about their clothes?"
their answers (all real guys!):
-I wish girls knew that when they wear revealing clothes, it makes them appear weak, striving, faithless, wordly and dangerous. when a woman dresses modestly, yet pretty, she appears confident, respectful, attractive and at peace with herself. i like 1 peter 3:4 as an admonishment to gals. tight clothes, mid driffs, underwear showage are all totally horrible to dudes too. i think that goes without saying.
-Beauty is not defined in outward appearance, fancy hairstyles or jewelry! beauty is defined by the heart. the world says you have to look a certain way and be a certain size to be worth anything. girls are beautiful because they are created in the image of God! the most attractive woman is the girl whose heart is after the Lord's! You are valuable because of who Jesus is.
-Anything immodest is stuff that reveals anything that shouldn't be or anything that is too tight. it depends on length. if i can see lots of thigh, it does not help me. also, low cut shirts.
-i think anything short or low cut is sick and unattractive. i mean come on...mystery! i dig chicks that dont have their business hanging out.
-HIDE THE BOOBIES! seriously, we know they are there. no one thinks youre hot because you have cleavage. we dont need your help. and no one needs to see your butt crack so put that away. i dont give a crap about collar bones or spaghetti straps but if you have to bend with your knees sideways, your skirt is too short, and YES we noticed.
-More modest is better! LESS SKIN IS BETTER!
-I think its less the clothes and more of a mindset, attitude and heart issue. if a girl wants a guy to "notice" her, its apparent. i think girls are rarely 'ACCIDENTALLY' immodest! skirt length never really caused me to stumble, but its the chesty girls that wanna show the world. cleavage or really tight shirts is super annoying.
-Even nice guys cant always keep from looking at cleavage if you put it out there.
-Please please wear less eyeliner! and i dont like it when girls wear really short shorts.
-I wish all of them would dress classier. thats what i love about my lady!
-I think 2 piece swimsuits on christian women are a complete disrespect to their christian brothers.
-Ill fitting or loose clothes can cause just as much stumbling as some blatant immodesty. its not always the amount of skin showing (short skirts/normal shorts), but the perception of seeing more than it seems you should.
-Dont show cleavage in any degree, even if and when you bend over. no g-strings showing! guys see that a lot!
-Anything too short and too tight is not good!
-I'd say just remember your power. It is way too easy to distract and drive guys crazy, so have a little consideration for the fellas. We want to know you and care for you as a whole person but putting your assets, so to speak, outside of the proper context of relationship is confusing to us and counter productive to getting our best. Don't pretend like you don't know how weak we are. Hah!
-I'd say dress right for the occasion. I say this because I know in the summer it's hard to find modest swim wear that allows your skin to see the sun. Find something that is comfortable but doesn't specifically accentuate your figure. Hard to do, I know. Basically dress with the idea in mind that you are saving as much as you can for your future spouse. Cleavage is a no-no in pretty much any situation. Showing the belly can be considered classy under normal circumstances but I for one easily stumble over that one.Choose shorts that are comfortable but aren't too tight or too short.I'd just go back to the whole, save as much for your future spouse as you can. You will be so glad you did and God will bless your relationship because of it :) And another thing,theres nothing wrong with baggier clothes. I promise we wont hold it against you.
-Girls need to stop dressing in whats popular and become more original. go to boutiques or goodwill! as far as style, you can create your own original style. Modest girls are cool. They dont rely on their appearance, but that have a great personable attitude. they are not insecure!
-Well in my humble, little opinion, I would tell girls this: "Instead oftrying to catch guy's attention by wearing inappropriate clothing, try
catching their attention by displaying what's in their heart. I personally
find girls who make a conscious effort to dress modestly and act in a Godly
manner way more attractive than sleazy chicks trying to show off. I would
also tell girls that when they dress inappropriately, they're not going to
be attracting the kind of guy they would ever want to get into a
relationship with. Guys like me appreciate girls who dress modestly and
think girls like that are way cool. However, I'm not saying girls should go
around wearing turtlenecks year round (that's just stupid), I'm simply
saying lower skirts and higher shirts are cool."
-Well you don't have to dress like an old lady, but you don't want to dress like a slut either. Girls shouldn't have cleavage sticking out, and their dress/skirt shouldn't be really short because those two things will make guys stumble.
-I might add; Don't dress like the girl you think dresses improperly. I know all girls check each others clothes out, and make judgments based on how other girls are dressed; so when you see a girl dressed like a "skank"(girls think that, so I'm not just saying it) don't dress like her. If you want to make a guy truly like/love, you appeal to his intellect; it'll last longer than if you appealed to his lust.
-if I feel the need to avert my eyes, there is a problem!