Thursday, March 11, 2010
so not perfect.
a long time ago, a dear friend and fellow band wife told me, "you will never get used to saying goodbye! its because you love them so much, that watching them go rips your heart out." i got on a plane today, heading back to my world of finals and nursing school, and my sweetheart is gearing up for his back to back tour runs (he will be gone for nearly 30 dates BACK TO BACK! pray for him, he always seems to get a touch of the flu along the way.) i am so proud of him and SO thankful for the community of people who have surrounded us in this industry! we have been so blessed by artist, their wives, our peers and coworkers and their families. what an encouragement in what can become a very daunting and scary life: touring and touring and touring. a lady next to me on the plane today asked me what my fiance did, and i explained he was a road manager, and that he was gone much of the time. she looked at me for a second, and she said, "wow. i cant imagine how in the world y'all make THAT work!" she eyed my engagement ring, and added softly, "i dont think i could ever do that; go months without seeing my husband." i went quiet, my eyes still filled with goodbye tears that always fall, no matter how i try to hold them back. "i dont do it somedays", i explained. "somedays i cant do it anymore! i'm so not perfect. i mess this band wife thing up daily. i'm needy and clingy and i cry about everything. but he is wonderful. he is patient and kind and he loves me so very much. and he lets me cry and he adores me and he loves Jesus more than me. so i can do it because God grants me strength to love my Drew enough to hold us together. we are stronger now than ever. and he loves what he does and that makes me happy, to watch him get to do that! how many women can say their husband is doing what he loves and providing for them too? thats what he is going to be." the lady, probably taken aback by my overly-exuberant speech, just continued staring at my ring. "wow", she said after a long while, "i wish my husband loved me that much."
oh how thankful i am for my Drew. so my heart will keep getting ripped out and put onto airplanes. and its okay.
and i will continue to mess it up. and he will continue to love me. and he will forget to call between sound checks some days. and i will share him with artists and rehearsals. but we will make it.
soli deo gloria.