dairy, wedding bells, and homework

i figured i would blog since a) it's been awhile since an update, and b) i am procrastinating on reading for school. we are down to a hundred and eight days until our BIG DAY! we have made our wedding website, and you can see it at www.drewaspinwall.com/wedding.

My asthma has been acting up, perhaps because of Spring allergies, but its making me pretty miserable, to be honest. I have been winded and short of breath walking very short distances (up stairs, etc) and because my campus is large and has lots of hills, it's made it difficult. I am trying to go off dairy because of it's effects on asthma. So far, I have found lots of alternatives to dairy, and I don't like milk so it hasnt been too hard. Unfortunately, I have been losing weight because of stress and lack of appetite, so now I am trying to find dairy-free foods with lots of calories. It's an interesting battle :0p

Drew's tour schedule changed, so I have him home for a full week! it's been sooooo nice to have him home for a little while and to be getting errands done. I started school for Spring term, and am comforting myself by reminding myself that this is my very last term before I am married! that is the most comforting part of this term, since the rest of it will pretty much be miserable...it's already being very difficult, and it's week one. i'm thankful drew is home this week to help me get through the overwheming-ness of the beginning of the term. He baked me brownies today! What a guy :-)

how do i tell their stories?

i was assigned a piece about the invisible children organization last week, an organization that i am very passionate about. they are working to free the children being abducted and forced into becoming child soldiers or slaves. they also showed the world the story of night commuters: children who walk at night to avoid being abducted. its horrific. its unthinkable. and as i read their stories, i wept. it truly not even something i can fathom...children being kidnapped OUT OF THEIR BEDS. children who have aids. children who have no future. and invisible children is GIVING THEM A FUTURE.

so how do i tell their stories?

how do i look at their pictures and not cry?

and how do i go back to my privileged life?

i want so badly to be moved out of apathy.

because i dont know how to tell their stories.

how do i sum up horror?

and terror?

and Hope?

the sun still rises over haiti

"where will i go when it rains?"



"we need change for the youth."



"home sweet home".



"in all my struggles, i have learned that Jesus loves me"






"God do not abandon your children"




all photos taken by jeremy cowart. www.voicesofhaiti.com
prints available.

follow jeremy on twitter at @jeremycowart

so not perfect.

a long time ago, a dear friend and fellow band wife told me, "you will never get used to saying goodbye! its because you love them so much, that watching them go rips your heart out." i got on a plane today, heading back to my world of finals and nursing school, and my sweetheart is gearing up for his back to back tour runs (he will be gone for nearly 30 dates BACK TO BACK! pray for him, he always seems to get a touch of the flu along the way.) i am so proud of him and SO thankful for the community of people who have surrounded us in this industry! we have been so blessed by artist, their wives, our peers and coworkers and their families. what an encouragement in what can become a very daunting and scary life: touring and touring and touring. a lady next to me on the plane today asked me what my fiance did, and i explained he was a road manager, and that he was gone much of the time. she looked at me for a second, and she said, "wow. i cant imagine how in the world y'all make THAT work!" she eyed my engagement ring, and added softly, "i dont think i could ever do that; go months without seeing my husband." i went quiet, my eyes still filled with goodbye tears that always fall, no matter how i try to hold them back. "i dont do it somedays", i explained. "somedays i cant do it anymore! i'm so not perfect. i mess this band wife thing up daily. i'm needy and clingy and i cry about everything. but he is wonderful. he is patient and kind and he loves me so very much. and he lets me cry and he adores me and he loves Jesus more than me. so i can do it because God grants me strength to love my Drew enough to hold us together. we are stronger now than ever. and he loves what he does and that makes me happy, to watch him get to do that! how many women can say their husband is doing what he loves and providing for them too? thats what he is going to be." the lady, probably taken aback by my overly-exuberant speech, just continued staring at my ring. "wow", she said after a long while, "i wish my husband loved me that much."


oh how thankful i am for my Drew. so my heart will keep getting ripped out and put onto airplanes. and its okay.
and i will continue to mess it up. and he will continue to love me. and he will forget to call between sound checks some days. and i will share him with artists and rehearsals. but we will make it.

soli deo gloria.