on my mind...

-how much i love this dress! i have a dress collection the size of a small country. i need to get rid of like half to fit them in our new soon-to-be-home. i have been focusing on getting rid of dresses that don't flatter my tiny frame and purchasing only classy dresses that wont go out of style. Lulus.com, modcloth, and anthropologie are the sweetest places to find classy, vintage dresses. i'm in love with sailor details right now, especially sailor collars!

-how much i despise nursing forums. every week we have to write these absurdly long posts about what we are reading and it's literally a duke-it-out battle of who can cite the most articles. it's exhausting and miserable.

-how much i love my wedding dress and my wedding venue. both are unbelievably beautiful. hooray!

-how ready i am to find the perfect apartment. we are currently searching for the perfect, safe, and cute little first house for our first year as newlyweds! so far i haven't found just the right one...it's really important for me to feel safe where i'm at, since my Husband will be gone on tour so much of the time. i cant wait to start finding fun things for our little housey.

-how tired i am. 30 hours of clinical, 30 hours of work, and 20 hours of homework this past week have left me DRAINED. i have been really grumpy too. poor drew. i am definitely not fun to be around when im exhausted and stressed. im going to bed early this week!

-how thankful i am for my job. my boss is the best.

-im so excited for the college retreat! heading to portland on the 7th and 8th for a worship and teaching retreat at solid rock. www.ajesuschurch.org We will be going thru the book of ephesians and have worship from evan wickham. can't wait for a relaxing time!

-my bachelorette party for nursing school is may 21st! hurrah :-) can't wait to celebrate!

-how crazy it is that 2 years have gone by for me and my Love!

-how bad drivers are in Oregon. they dont use their blinkers.

-i need to write a bunch of articles this week.

-i love chicken nuggets. i also love dairy, which i cant eat.

-i love the new tenth avenue album. i want to read "eat pray love."

-i cant wait to be cute and pregnant and get baby clothes for our little baby someday!

thats all of my random thoughts.

show day

yesterday was the kutless show, a sold out venue and tons of tiny details didn't make it too appealing for me. I was up at 6am, headed to clinical until 3, then stayed up till 2am. i dont even remember crawling into bed last night!
but i think its amazing that God works so well in our weakness. in my poor attitude, He still forged relationships and encouraged me in the middle of a terribly long day. i didn't know that the opening band was aligned with anti-human trafficking agency Overlooked, and that their hearts are running after freeing these precious women! how amazing to hear their story and to be able to fully support their music. i bought their cd and a shirt, and was so encouraged by their hearts and their ministry. i didn't know the other opening band was good friends with the band drew is road managing! so cool to make those connections and see God weaving us all together!

he knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring..

if i got my way, i would have walked down the aisle to taylor swift. thankfully, i have roommates and a fiance who decided i needed to keep it classy, and that in 20 years, i didn't want to have to tell my children i walked down the aisle to the number one hit pop song of 2009. anyways. moving on.

i have a beautiful, fairytale gown tucked away in my mom's closet, i have a beautiful wedding venue just waiting for me, and my darling bridesmaids are ordering beautiful dresses. i meet with my florist soon, and has has all sorts of unique ideas for my wedding bouquet. i seriously can't believe that the wedding is in 89 days!

we have been engaged for a glorious nine months, and when we get married, it will be almost one year exactly. it's definitely been a year filled with challenges and joy, but we've made it! i have learned so much...when people find out that i see my fiance just about every two months, and not in between...they often are shocked. to be honest, it never gets any easier. i miss him each and every day, but i am gradually learning to live my life when he is gone. it's been a hard lesson to learn, but i've discoevered that life still goes on when he gets on those airplanes. i go back to work and school, and i have to focus and do my best. i've certainly spent my fair share of time crying and feeling sorry for myself. but i've been trying to find Joy in my life apart from him. mostly because this is the life we are signing up for...touring is hard, its hard on marriages, its hard on having kids, its hard on the husbands and the wives alike. i think me and drew both have different things we struggle with. for me, i have community, and friends, and church. i stay extraordinarily busy and im out with friends on the weekends and travel often. for drew, he doesnt get community. he rarely gets home for church, since he works nights, and he wont see his friends for months. it's a complex life, and im grateful that we are good friends, because we are pretty in tune to what the other one is feeling even when we are apart. we've listened to ALOT of mark driscoll and matt chandler, and ive definitely seen areas i need to improve...ive learned that drew needs words of affirmation, and i need undivided attention. as soon as we figured that out, things got alot easier. not easy, just easier. we're still learning.

it's our two anniversary on saturday. i'll be at the beach, and he'll be at work. its really hard sometimes, to spend this special days apart, but we'll be okay. two years. it's flown by.

i love you honey. grow old with me.

i hope...

...that in twenty years, i am as excited to go on dates with my Husband.

i was out to dinner a few nights ago, and an elderly couple was sitting near me. the wife got up to get something and came back and when she came back, her husbands eyes lit up. i mean his whole face lit up! he was so happy to see her!

wow. i hope we have that in twenty, thirty, fifty years.

and my goodness....i can't wait to have a Husband!

i love him so much.

i hope that i still get butterflies when he gets off an airplane.
i hope that in twenty years, i am as excited to hear his voice.
i hope that in fifty years, he still reaches for my hand.
i hope that forever, i drop everything to just talk to him.

91 days.

love this:

"When a couple speaks their vows & consummates their vows with sexual union, it is not man or woman or pastor or parent who is the main actor. God is. God joins a husband & wife into a one-flesh union. God does that. God does that!! Marriage is GOD'S doing... Staying married, therefore, is not about staying in love: it is about keeping covenant. Christ will never leave His wife." ~Piper

getting married is such a Joy!

lately, i have been nothing but excited about our wedding! with just over 3 months to go, we had a setback last week when our intended venue was nothing what we thought. we drove out there, and after a 2 hour, miserable, curvy drive, it was definitely a letdown. i cried all the way back to ashland. thankfully, drew had such a good attitude and thought we could make it work, but i was pretty sure it was not going to work. nothing else was open, and with drew touring so much, we didn't have any more time to look around at venues. a few days later, a wonderful couple opened up their home and their beautiful ranch to us. its a several acre, beautifully manicured ranch with mountains and a creek surrounding it. i absolutely love it and can't wait to get married there! i have realized that stressing about wedding things doesnt make it any more fun, and i want to enjoy it so much. so now im determined to be excited and stress free! i love planning our special day because mostly, i'm excited to be his wife! YAY!

one hundred days?

can it really be? just a hundred more days until our wedding?

yep.

hallelujah.

it can't come soon enough.

i bought my beautiful wedding dress last week, and i absolutely love it. i'm sure drew will too, but he doesnt get to see it for another hundred days :) we got drew fitted for a tux in Portland a few weeks ago, and the tuxes are fabulous...definitely happy with the colors I have chosen: champagne ivory, plum, and black. they look so pretty together! we found a wonderful florist who is local and who does couture, designer flowers, and is offering me a discount. they are exotic looking arrangements, and i'm excited to have them do our flowers.

thats about all i have the energy for right now. missing my drew. he's back in alabama....