stellan, audrey, the orphans of mumbai, and a God big enough for it all.

this is stellan.

he's a pretty special guy.

the doctors told his mommy and daddy before he was born, that he wouldn't make it. and here he is, a beautiful little boy with a fighting spirit and a charming smile. right now, stellan is fighting for his life in Boston with his mommy jennifer, as his tiny heart struggles to keep him alive. please read his story. and pray for this precious little guy and his family. i learned about stellan from another blog, passed onto me by my friend matthew turner. angie smith's precious daughter's story bound complete strangers together in prayer, once again marking the power of the body of Christ. her story is beautiful too. miss amy jean kloek also is fighting the fight of her life against her kidney tumors here in Oregon. she is a spunky four year old full of life and light and a perpetual smile. her mommy and daddy love her very much. please pray for her.

sometimes we need to let God be as big as He is.

i learned this week that He is bigger than what i have even dreamed for myself, capable of opening doors, closing others, and leaving us sometimes just speechless at what He is doing, and how He is moving. this week, i was chatting with my friend and fellow writer Brian Palmer, who had invited me to join a facebook group called "india partners". i didnt know what it was, so i asked him about it.

i was about to get the suprise of a lifetime.

i have been really praying about a way to be involved in fighting human trafficking. i feel this is what God has called me into, and where my heart is most at home. i am attending school to be able to offer the victims of trafficking the gift of medical care as a nurse. but i have not been able to find a place to use my skills...until now.

turns out brian's organization partners with another organization, one centered around care for the red-light district in India. they are taking a trip next september, at just the right time for my school schedule. as excited as i was, i was not sure i was going to get to go, whether i was skilled enough, or whether they would take naive twenty-one year old college student. so i sent off an email...and got one back from the coordinator.

she was praying for someone with medical training.

and i had been praying for a trip just like this.

thank you Lord. (the trip is set to leave september 3rd, 2010, where one week will be spent ministering to the red light district, and the other week working in an orphanage for children rescued from the slums. i would leave tomorrow if they would let me. really.)

today my grandfather was hospitalized for a heart attack. today stellan fought another day to keep his little heart beating. today angie mourned the loss of her precious audrey. today kevin and diane held the hands of their little girl and hope for all the years they want for her. today the orphans of mumbai remain in captivity. today the red light district in mumbai will foster sin and devastation. today i might not make a difference, and i wait for God to move.

but i will go when i am called, and i will rest in His promise to sustain.

bcause God is still God. and He is big enough.

i rest in that today.

i found God.

i worked at the hospital this morning..at a very early 6am. i am starting my first rotations as a student nurse on an actual hospital floor. i take responsibility for one patient, and attend to their needs as my skills allow. the neat thing about student nursing is it allows you additional time with the patient. also, we are not skilled enough to handle the truly difficult (ie: painful) procedures, and much of our skills allow for patient care involving time-taking activities. we bathe the patients, bandage wounds, do assessments, check in on them, change linens and help them order breakfast. we assess for wound size, drainage, their general orientation and mental status, and their pain levels. i had an elderly woman as my patient last week. very frail and in much pain. when i came into her room as her attending nurse (scared out of my wits, of course), she was visibly upset. her IV line had come undone due to her rolled, impacted veins, and she didnt tolerate narcotics at all. because of this, she had to endure four faulty IV insertions before it was successful, with a fairly large needle and no anesthetic. i felt my heart drop to my feet. all the sudden, here i was with a scared patient, and i felt helpless.

i had about forty minutes of assessment to complete on this woman, and she was in pain and tired. i immediately shifted to my "industrious" side, briskly asking questions, and feeling the time crunch to get my assignment done. until i looked up.

i had asked a question about her children...and i stopped short as i glanced up and saw her tears.

i ditched the notebook.

i sat with her as she told me about her estranged children, about the numerous falls and loss of health insurance that brought her to that hospital bed. and i realized that Jesus shows up in places we least expect. its exciting. and humbling.

i love finding people inside their story.

everyone has one.

i met a man today who fought in world war II. he had a lovely family, was married for fourty years. but he had lost much of his acclaimed life to the several nights spent drowning in a bottle of alcohol.
what was left of that husband, that soldier, that daddy...
was a tiny, frail old man lying all alone in a hospital room.
he can't speak anymore, and his throat has been replaced by plastic tubing. he can't feed himself, his independence has been switched for a catheter and a feeeding tube. its humbling.

and Jesus is there.

rob bell always talks about "bringing heaven rushing into hell", by becoming part of the Grander story that God is always writing. i have learned this week that the House of God has no walls. john waller talked about it in his new song...about the Body of Christ being so much more than Sunday morning lip-service. last sunday, i watched a daddy share about his precious, deathly-ill four year old, with the highest confidence in the mercy and compassion of a sovereign God. and today, i watched a man mouth to me, around his feeding tube, that he needed water. Jesus is there. both places. the house of God has no walls.

sometimes, loving like Jesus...means draining a feeding tube.

and bathing a patient who cries tears of joy because you took the time to give them a bath.

sometimes it means dressing the wound around a incision

or holding a hand during a fourth IV insertion.

sometimes it means putting down our notebook...so we can see the Story.

because everyone has one.