do i know the poor?

(photo via Mark Driscoll, www.twitter.com/pastormark)

tonight, a little girl will sleep on the streets of india as an outcast.

tonight, a little boy will fall asleep an orphan in haiti.

tonight, a child in uganda will die of hunger.

"I asked participants who claimed to be "strong followers of Jesus" whether Jesus spent time with the poor. Nearly 80 percent said yes. Later in the survey, I sneaked in another question, I asked this same group of strong followers whether they spent time with the poor, and less than 2 percent said they did. I learned a powerful lesson:

We can admire and worship Jesus without doing what he did.

We can applaud what he preached and stood for without caring about the same things.

We can adore his cross without taking up ours.

I had come to see that the great tragedy of the church is not that rich Christians do not care about the poor but that rich Christians do not know the poor." -shane claiborne

i can't honestly think of one single person in poverty in my life.

bresma.

as i write this, two american young women struggle to survive in Haiti. the beautiful woman in the photo above is one of them. Jamie and Ali. After the collapse of an orphanage, they now are responsible for 150 babies and small children. with

no food.

no water.

no supplies.

they are living in the front yard of the orphanage. american planes have offered to come retrieve the women, but they refuse to leave these children. the american government is furiously working to waive citizenship and visa laws for these children so all 152 of them can get on a plane and leave the rubble. problem is...the government can only work so fast.

thing is....these children are adoptees.

they have families waiting for them to come home. they have already been placed in forever-homes.

and even if they can get paperwork...time is running out. with no supplies, the children will die.

they need a miracle. would you pray with me?

learn more at www.thatschurch.com

adjusting.

i put my Love onto a plane on tuesday night, after a tear filled dinner date (on my part, not his, since he holds it together much better than me when one of us leave, i bawl through dinner, its like "*sob* yes ill have the steak *gulp* and a soda *sob*. im sure our waitress thinks he was breaking up with me.). its back to adjustments again. adjusting to grocery shopping alone, and lunch breaks alone, and tuesday night video chats instead of date night. its really hard adjusting when we are back apart on other sides of the country. i forget the little things its nice to have him here. i like having someone to go to the movies with, and to fill my car up and to help me balance my budget. i love holding his hand, and going to dinner, and getting dressed up just because we get to go out together. its hard becoming independent all over again, because i like depending on him. he's dependable. responsible. hard working, patient, and oh-so-sweet.

truth is, i love him. and i miss my best friend.

made me think about how dependent i am on the Lord. i forgot the Lord is here to do the things that Drew can't do when he isn't here. I forget the Lord is my provider and my protector. Drew fights for me and loves me and sacrifices for me...the Lord did all those things first, before He gave me my almost-husband. i forget sometimes. Drew remembers. He entrusts me to Jesus whenever he leaves, knowing fullwell that the Lord will carry me when he can't be here to hold my hand. but sometimes, i forget.

i'm still adjusting.

december.

sorry this is going to be a long and detailed post about our month, which was a whirlwind! i doubt anyone is reading, but i like to write it all down so i dont forget!

drew got a job with newsong this year, working on their christmas tour. he left november 29th from bama for 19 days of touring. we had already booked my flight, so i still flew out there, even though i wouldnt get to see him for much of the trip. thankfully the dates he had in Bama were the days i was there, so i got to be out with the tour for about three days. the picture above is us at the show in athens, alabama. we also were in dothan and montgomery, then drew left for two days while i relaxed in montgomery and auburn with my good friend whitney (note the newly designed auburn colors blog.)here's drew with his buddy jeff jones, drummer for big daddy weave. one of the many kind and sweet guys on this tour who were a wonderful community away from home for my guy. what a blessing it was to meet and be with these talented and humble artists.this is rico, guitarist for newsong, and another sweet, sweet guy. i got to hear the 'christmas shoes" song for three nights straight. and then i made drew watch the movie when we got home :) good thing he is so patient :)here is drew playing drums with newsong.
matt butler and eddie singing "o holy night" in montgomeryhere we are with aunt frances, and cousins elizabeth and madeline at the cracker barrel to celebrate christmas! so sweet of her to bless us with sweet presents (and SNUGGIE) and time together.with drew's brother bryant and his girlfriend parker at drew's moms for christmas, which we spent with drew's brother, myrons parents, and drew's sister and sister in law...lots of family and lots of kiddos! (his brother has six!)
some of the neatest girls you'll ever meet! malerie, amelia, chelle (and baby willis!), emily, and i. aka the foolettes (i am an honorary foolette, since drew isnt actually in the band lol) love our ugly, i mean beautiful sweaters! i miss these precious and amazing girls and am thankful for the encouragement they have been to me as i learn to live life with a guy who tours.our rush of fools family: chelle and wesley and baby, jan and emily, mal and kevin, me and drew, amelia and jake, and jack. what amazing friends these guys are. love them all to pieces.with my mom and dad at the top of roxy ann on christmas day! we are thankful and blessed to have so much wonderful family! and even though december has been a whirlwind, we are grateful. now we are relaxing in oregon for awhile, and i cant tell you how great it is to have my sweetie with me for awhile! we are working on my financial aid situation with nursing school and trying to financially make it work. (its 20k a year for my schooling). i am grateful he is here to help with the finances, since i am not good with numbers. plus its' nice to have a date night and quality time together!

i am keeping busy working, and prepping for the switchfoot tour in a few weeks. writing quite a bit and thankful for new opportunities that come up for me to write (and get paid!). it helps pay the bills, and for that we are thankful. (iphone bills are unkind!)

sad i didn't get to see my middle sister this christmas, but hopefully i can fly there soon to see mr jack henry! we are praying for my oldest sister, whose middle son has epilepsy and is undergoing surgery for a hernia today. he is a sweet and fun guy and we hope this surgery will help alleviate some of his pain.

most of all, we are thankful for this year, for all God has brought us through, and eager to watch Him work in our hearts this year, for His glory. He is good, all the time ,and we have been carried through my health problems, drew's heart problem, schooling ,finances, touring, and more. We are thankful. and so blessed by His provision and protection.

Merry Christmas!

merry christmas

love, grace and drew

sabbath.

drew and i were listening to matt chandler earlier today. i have surely missed holding hands with my sweet almost-husband and driving. we have been driving ALOT because of drew's tour dates and in order to enable me to see him as much as possible, we have driven back and forth hundreds of miles. today, we drove to birmingham and listened to some of matt's earlier podcasts. todays was on sabbath. about obeying the command to observe the sabbath. matt mentioned how, when he was little, he remembers the sabbath being code for "no fun". instead, matt talked about how the sabbath is to be restful and joyful. he also mentioned that we, as a generation of laptops, iphones, and twitter, should unplug at least one day a week. chandler, a pastor of a large church, husband, and daddy of three little ones, says he checks his email just three times a week. and "no one has died! nothing disintegrated!".

i have an iphone, and am thankful for the way it has enabled me to do more, faster. but sometimes, doing more, faster, is not always better. sure, i can access every social media in a second, and i can email word documents and type papers into powerpoint. all from my phone.

chandler mentioned how it eventually reaches a point where you aren't where you are.

you can be present, but you aren't THERE. drew and i have a tuesday night date night. we havent gotten to really enjoy that commitment for four months, and tonight, our "date" means he is working and i am sitting in the audience being proud of my almost-husband. and that's okay.

we don't know which day our sabbath will be. we will hopefully get to talk about it when drew comes home after this last leg of tour. for now, i will just enjoy spending time with him, and tagging along while he works. we have been so immensely blessed by the newsong tour, full of kind people and sweet friends, some new and some old. but one day this week, i will stop being my super-ridiculously-efficient self. sunday, we will go to church, i will unplug. both of us will shut the email, switch phones to silent, and refuse to take any calls. and we will go to dinner and hold hands and take a walk. and just be.

because, like chandler said...rest on the sabbath is a shadow of something else...the cross.

resting reminds us that we are saved not by working, but by grace and with joy.

besides, i like holding drew's hand.

rejoicing.

i havent blogged in awhile, but i figured i would at least post something about all the things we are thankful for this year!

we are most recently thankful for my (our) sweet nephew Jack Henry Watkins (note* NEPHEW. NOT OURS. I realized the post made it look like we had a baby, and we certainly DID NOT!) ! born november 29th, 2009, he is a precious and handsome little one and my sister and her husband are overjoyed with his safe and healthy birth. he is in san antonio, so i havent met him yet, but i cant wait! he is a cutie (obviously!). my other precious nephew, beck, turned one in november, beth turned 6, ben is 4, tim was 5 in november, and ally-bug is 3! all such fun, sweet kids!

my grandma is also moving up to oregon today, from cali, after the passing of my grandpa a few months ago. i have never had grandparents in the same city as me, so it will be fun to have her around!

we are sooo thankful for the precious news from dear friends wes and chelle, on the announcement of baby willis in july! we couldnt be more excited for our friends to become wonderful, Godly parents, and we cant wait to meet him/her. baby willis, your mommy and daddy love you very very much!

we are thankful for drew's current job, he is out on tour with the newsong and big daddy weave guys, and its a wonderful tour. i am, as always, thankful to the Lord for keeping him safe while he travels. especially with several artists having bus accidents, i am grateful every day when i get a call in the morning to let me know he has made it safely. i have a friend who started a community group for women who are engaged/married to guys who are in christian music and who tour, and it's been a sweet encouragement for me to hear verses/prayers from these girls.

i am thankful for my wrap up of school with 2 A's and one C! it was a rough term with health issues, financial aid problems, the flu, and working 30 plus hours a week. i didn't see drew any of that time, so it's been almost four months since we have been together.

i fly out on saturday to alabama! excited to see our fools family, drew's family, and spend time catching up with friends and relaxing. i have not relaxed since i left bama, so i am ready to do some reading and writing of articles, shopping, and spend time with drew! we have a crazy schedule planned, full of day trips and though he will be gone for three of the days i am there, i get to spend time in Nashville with my dear friend tiff. sounds like a great time, and i get to see the newsong tour dates twice, including my all-time favorite christmas song, The Christmas shoes :)

love you all! pictures to come soon, after the holidays probably, but i had to get that one of precious Jack up here!

a cab to drive him home.

my clinical rotations have been progressively harder. we are actual nurses now, taking on 2-3 patients independently. though i still feel somewhat incompetent as The Nurse, i have fallen into a certain level of comfort on the unit. i have been giving report to physicians, helping make life changing decisions that i hardly feel qualified to be helping make. we interpret sheets of lab values, and pore over medications. one wrong move and patients can die. you have to be aware 24/7 while you are working, never knowing that an error has already occurred and you have to catch it. my patient crashed yesterday, with a heart rate soaring to over 190 from a normal 70. i had to run down the hall and grab the physician. i stood with him as he walked me through the prognosis, the ekg, the crucial heart drugs. but then he walked away and i was left alone. no amount of book-knowledge gives you the assurance in that moment. there is nothing i learned in class that prepared me for announcing imminent death to a patients family who is holding onto hope with everything they had.

i had three patients yesterday, the first a patient who had renal disease and was going to hospice in a few weeks, to spend the last moments of their life. the second a young stroke victim who had a 2% chance of recovery and only a few months to live as her family had chosen to not rescucitate. the physician, a kind and smart man, was very busy, and had to run to his other patients. that left me as the bearer of devastating news. i was the one who had to walk back into that room and sit with the children of the stroke victim and tell them they need to consider hospice care for her. i was the one who watched them dissolved into tears and still gather vital information to make the patient comfortable. i was the one who had to share in that moment of their world crashing down around them.

i had to go into the next patients room and deal with the spouse of another dying patient who refused to believe she was dying. he tried to comfort her with "therapy" of his own and odd chants that i am fairly certain he was making up as he went, and he told me God was going to smite me for using my "worldly knowledge" to be a nurse. underneath that tough exterior, though, was a man who held the hand of his wife and wasnt ready to face her death.

my last room was the hardest. i went in to discontinue an iv on a patient who was going home. normally, this is a happy visit, and i had only seen his chart, so i was entering the room thrilled to be discharging him. i walked in to find a tiny old man, just skin and bones physically, with a few wisps of hair, and a tremor that made simple movement hard. i reread the chart and realized he wasnt going home because he was getting better...but because there was nothing we could do anymore. i felt my heart sink and i realized i would be the last nurse who cared for him in this hospital, maybe ever. i went over the medications i was giving him, and gave him some pain meds. i cleaned up his room as he gathered his things, his weathered hands shaking.

i realized it was veterans day, and i asked if he had been a veteran. he said "i was in the service for six years, served overseas in world war II. i saw it all...killing, death, hope." i commented about it being a very ugly war, and he said softly, "miss...they all are." i went to take out his iv then, and there, along his tiny forearm, under the tape and cords and tubes, was a faded service insignia. now long since faded to a dull grey, i could still make it out and he proudly showed me it. underneath, in looping cursive, were the names of his buddies who had died in the war. four of them, unreadable, but still there. and i stopped wiping his tubes and cleaning his arm to look into his eyes and he told me about each of them, how they all had left their "pretty girls" to serve overseas. they were my age, just 21, when they enlisted. i finally got his iv out, a lengthy process because his skin almost tore from the clear tape. as i bandaged the site carefully, he touched my arm and said softly, "miss...you done good. youre the first nurse who has cared about me". i smiled and combed his hair, brushed his teeth...little things that make patients feel human again after lying in a bed for days. and as i went to get the discharge educator, he said "miss...can you call me a cab?" i thought i had heard him wrong, but i made sure. "you don't have anyone to come get you? would you like me to call your family or a friend?" his eyes filled with tears as he said "miss, my family is on the east coast. they dont care about this old guy. and my friends all died a long time ago." i fought back tears as i nodded, and told him i would find him a ride home. i had to run to another room just then, and another nurse called a cab, but i helped him out to it, walking him out with a tiny walker and his little bag of belongings. it seemed so wrong to send him home all alone. sure, home health would be by, and soon he would be in hospice, but i still felt so sad.

he got into the cab, and i put his sweater on his lap. before the door closed, he thanked me again, this tiny, frail man who had just a few weeks to live. and i knew it was me who needed to be thanking him. society should be thanking him. instead he was going home to die alone, in a cab that the hospital called.

i went back into the unit and before i completed my last assessments, i went to the staff room and sobbed for my patients. everyone tells you you cant get involved, that you cant be emotional. to a level, thats true. you have to compose yourself so you dont collapse into tears everytime you leave a room. but no matter what you do, you always become attached to your patients because they are yours. and for that moment, however brief or long, you get allowed a window into their lives. you are allowed just one chance to be Jesus in their lives. you are allowed the privilege to hold their hands while they cry, and to sit and listen to stories about the war, and sometimes... you have to call a cab to get them home.

darkness. sunrise.

God is always in the darkness.

We love to find Him in the morning sunrise, but when darkness falls, He's still there.

This week has been a series of disappointments. I thought I was going to be able to see Drew this weekend, since I have not seen him in almost fourty days, but his travel plans changed and I won't be able to see him until December; a blow that hit me hard. I found out I lost a scholarship I thought I was still eligible for. I got a C on a test at school that I studied for weeks for. I am struggling to understand things in school, and struggling to get enough sleep. I coordinate volunteers for large concerts on the West Coast, and this week two shows had volunteers cancel, leaving me in a last minute panic. I worked a 12 hour shift at the hospital, which was terrific but exhausting. It's been one thing after another, with loan holdups and financial aid problems, and stress at my day job. I have felt on the edge of a breakdown all week.

God is still present.

Sounds simple, doesn't it. Sounds like I would have 'gotten' it by now, doesn't it? Not me.

I struggled to see God in this all week. I cried that I am struggling financially. I cried that I wouldn't get to see my fiance for another two months. I cried that I was failing at my work. I cried because I was just plain exhausted. But God is still present. He is still God, and He keeps showing up.

He showed up in my patients room, when I held her hand and helped her breathe.

He showed up in a few people who offered to volunteer for another concert later in the year.

He showed up in the Love of my fiance, who has been there for me every second, with emails, and text messages, and video chats and 2am phone calls filled with tears.

He shows up and He keeps showing up. I am thankful.

Sunrise always happens, even when the night is darkest.

He even shows up when I forget to look for Him.

leftovers.

my weeks seem to get busier and busier. i work 22 hours a week as a public relations office manager at southern oregon university, and attend nursing school for 26 hours a week. on the weekends, i freelance for four different magazines, and serve as a volunteer coordinator for a concert agency. i am now working under my own company as an artist manager and publicist/booking agent. sometimes i travel on the weekends to various shows. its basically a circus. i wake up between 6 and 6:15 every morning and commute half an hour to school, and then get home around 9:00, when i can start my homework. i usually can crash into bed around twelve, but if i want to talk to my sweet fiance at all, it's around twelve. he is so incredibly supportive and patient. he went to bed at twelve the other night, and woke up to talk to me when i was done with homework around two am. since he's two hours ahead, it often means he will "nap" until im done with homework and wake up mid-sleep to call. it means alot that he will do this for me.

pete wilson posted something neat from the catalyst conference today, he posed a question from rob bell:

"Does your spouse and kids get the best of you or do they get the scraps leftover after you’re done building what you’re going to build?"

ouch. i cant think of all the times i have excused not making sufficient time for Drew, or worse, my scripture reading and prayer time, by saying that its simply nursing school, that i'm sure everyone understands because its 'just school.' while my fiance, family, and friends are all supportive, i am not entirely sure i should be excused that easily. regardless of school, its no excuse for me to shirk relationships/devotions. if i get straight A's and fail in my marriage-to-be, or lose all my friends than it doesnt matter after all. pete went on to point out his own personal struggle as a pastor, in balancing everything, and he said God convicted him to "not win at church and fail at home."

i dont want to win at nursing school to lose my time and heart.

i dont want to win as a publicist and agent to lose my time for my fiance.

i dont want to become the best manager to lose my best friends and family.

its just not worth it.

"He said, "That you love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and muscle and intelligence—and that you love your neighbor as well as you do yourself." luke 10:27

pretty sure that means my whole heart.

i dont want to love my kids that much.

i was driving home from corvallis the other night, and pretty wiped out after my four-show tour weekend, working merchandise and promotion for west coast tours. i have developed a "buddy system" with drew and doug collingsworth, where we help each other stay awake during late night drives by talking to the other person(s). this particular night, my sweet fiance was sleeping on the floor of the van (the glamorous life of a rock star, obviously), and he was rapidly falling asleep. as my drive was an additional three hours, i called kevin, who was driving the van for the guys that night, and was also trying to stay awake. kevin and his wife have been married for i think over five years (correct me there, guys :), and drew and i have great respect for their marriage and their standards. they are dear friends who have become like family. kevin and i got started talking about marriage and kids, and we got onto the subject of parenting. clearly, drew and i are a while from having our own little aspinwalls, but kevin made such a tremendous point, i was excited to share it with drew and to blog about it as well.

kevin pointed out that the worst thing a parent can do is make their child believe they are the center of the universe. i had never thought of this, since i am very excited about eventually being a mom, and i had never been told that piece of advice before. kevin went on to explain that the best thing he can do for his kids is to love his wife above and beyond loving his kids. he said he wants his children to always know that their mom is the focus of his life after Jesus. he went on to illustrate the point by saying if a gunman came into his home, after trying to sacrifice himself for his wife and kids (which is the biblical role of the husband, modeling after Christ laying down His life for the church, the bride), and if it came down to choosing his wife or his kids, he would pick his wife. alot of people will disagree with that, and of course it sounds so counter-cultural, but if husbands truly are trying to be christlike, they will choose their marriage, which is a picture of Christ and His church. a dramatic explanation to be sure, but definitely one that stuck with me.

another site we have been encouraged by is justin davis from crosspoint church, where pete wilson also pastors. i have loved pastor wilson's sermons for awhile now (you can read his blog here), but have particularly enjoyed justin and his wife's blog, where they ultimately point to the redemption of God in an imperfect marriage. he has a great article right now called 'facebook didn't destroy my marriage." here's an excerpt:

if you are seeking to escape from your spouse rather than pursuing your spouse…Facebook isn’t your problem. If you are looking for a way to reconnect with the girl you took to prom your junior year instead of treating your wife like the prom queen, Facebook isn’t your problem. If you need to create an alternate personality, an online persona, and a profile that impresses some guy in Fargo, North Dakota more than the real you impresses your husband…Facebook isn’t your problem.

What would it look like for men and women to come clean and be honest and vulnerable and transparent with their wife or husband, no matter the cost? Could Facebook destroy that kind of commitment? How powerful would it be for husbands to love their wives with the sacrifice and unselfishness that Christ had for the Church…could Facebook simulate that? How unappealing would some girlfriend from 20 years ago be if wives were determined to honor and respect their husbands as unto the Lord?

great stuff.

oh that God will grant me mercy to be the kind of wife who loves my husband more than my kids.

Oregon updates!

whew! i am back in oregon, and things have hit fast forward.

it's great to be home. and getting to see the people i have missed this summer while in nashville and alabama, including my lovely family. school starts september 28th, and i am taking a full load of nursing classes, including one full shift of rotations at the hospital a week. i am thrilled about getting more time in the operating room, since it's my favorite! right now i am juggling working 40+ hours a week, and working several other jobs...keeping me busy and things i am excited about this week:

-working on managing the flu crisis at the university and collaborating on a plan with the health department

-developing a plan for social networking to be implemented by 2010

-getting things together for nursing school to start!

-working as an artist manager and booking agent to three artists and one record label

-just got accepted as the TOMS SHOES campus rep for my university, one of about twelve who were chosen for these colleges in the state! i am very excited.

-writing two articles for HALOGEN on social justice and hope.

-brainstorming three features for soul-audio.com with indie bands

-back to school week for my campus bible study, praying that i will be able to commit alot of time to this awesome ministry.

-the BLOOM book club! check it out at www.jessicaturnersblog.blogspot.com, started by my friend Matthew's wife, Jessica Turner.

-blogs to read: audreycaroline.blogspot.com, withoutwax.tv, jesusneedsnewpr.blogspot.com

I'll be leaving friday for a four-show run with chris and conrad, with stops to work with Toby mac and Paul wright. Excited to connect with friends of drew and i along the way. VERY excited to see my precious niece and nephews, as well as my dear best friend Heidi who i have not seen since june. Should be a busy, fun weekend split between Puyallup WA, Portland ,and Corvallis.

Drew and i will be getting our engagement pictures back this week or early next week and i am eager to see them. www.kimboxphotography.com is amazing and we were so blessed by Kim's (Drew's stepsister) wonderful shoot.

that's all for now.

life is good. God is good.

my fiance is amazing. i love him so much!

and i am thankful to the Lord for these blessings and gifts He has let me borrow for now.

(ps-excuse the messy blog layout...i haven't had time to format it...)

what do i know of holy

thanks to Mal for showing me this song...love it.

WHAT DO I KNOW OF HOLY BY ADDISON ROAD

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?
(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were might to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees
(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood

But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
(CHORUS 2)
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life it's name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?
(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?

XXX.

we are driving for awhile, so i figured i would blog some along the way. we passed into arkansas just a bit ago, and right near the entrance to the state, there is an "adult entertainment" venue. complete with a giant neon "XXX" perched atop its roof, it beckons to passing motorists, promising all sorts of "mature" entertainment. as we passed i just felt sick. i cant help but think of those girls in there, searching for themselves beneath neon lights and leering glances. every one of them is someones sister. someone's daughter. some are mommies. i love the kenny chesney song "dancing for the groceries....it reminds me that sometimes those women are more than the shame that we attach to them.

she's thinking about what her kids are doing
Five miles away, it's almost time for bed
They're brushing teeth and hearing one more story
And in the mirror she paints her lips bright red
She wishees she could call and say she loves them
But the bossman says no calls go out or in
So she puts on a dress that might feel pretty
If she didn't have to take it off again

She's dancin' for the groceries
She's dancin' for the rent
She's dancin' for the credit card
That she's already spent
In sequins and in laces
She's dancin' for the braces
So her kids can have a perfect smile someday
Smiling while she dances
Is the price she has to pay

They tell her in this job there is no future
So get it while you can 'cause looks don't last
There's money in those pockets for the taking
And if you do it right, it makes the time go fast
The music's loud, the drinks are mostly water
What her name is tonight, she can't recall
The business men stare at the single mother
Who's smiling while she's staring at the wall

She's dancin' for the groceries
She's dancin' for the rent
She's dancin' for the credit card
That she's already spent
In sequins and in laces
She's dancin' for the braces
So her kids can have a perfect smile someday
Smiling while she dances
Is the price she has to pay

Someday she'll have a house out in the country
Someday she'll see the other side of dawn
And no one will ever know
what it was she did before
But she just heard the DJ say, 'you're on'
And the lights come up
And they play her song

She's dancin' for the groceries

sad to think about, but grateful we serve a God of redemption. i hope i can learn to love even those who perpetuate perversity like "adult entertainment", that they might begin to see a God more beautiful than the things that those neon lights can offer.

He shines brighter than any ten foot X.