he knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring..

if i got my way, i would have walked down the aisle to taylor swift. thankfully, i have roommates and a fiance who decided i needed to keep it classy, and that in 20 years, i didn't want to have to tell my children i walked down the aisle to the number one hit pop song of 2009. anyways. moving on.

i have a beautiful, fairytale gown tucked away in my mom's closet, i have a beautiful wedding venue just waiting for me, and my darling bridesmaids are ordering beautiful dresses. i meet with my florist soon, and has has all sorts of unique ideas for my wedding bouquet. i seriously can't believe that the wedding is in 89 days!

we have been engaged for a glorious nine months, and when we get married, it will be almost one year exactly. it's definitely been a year filled with challenges and joy, but we've made it! i have learned so much...when people find out that i see my fiance just about every two months, and not in between...they often are shocked. to be honest, it never gets any easier. i miss him each and every day, but i am gradually learning to live my life when he is gone. it's been a hard lesson to learn, but i've discoevered that life still goes on when he gets on those airplanes. i go back to work and school, and i have to focus and do my best. i've certainly spent my fair share of time crying and feeling sorry for myself. but i've been trying to find Joy in my life apart from him. mostly because this is the life we are signing up for...touring is hard, its hard on marriages, its hard on having kids, its hard on the husbands and the wives alike. i think me and drew both have different things we struggle with. for me, i have community, and friends, and church. i stay extraordinarily busy and im out with friends on the weekends and travel often. for drew, he doesnt get community. he rarely gets home for church, since he works nights, and he wont see his friends for months. it's a complex life, and im grateful that we are good friends, because we are pretty in tune to what the other one is feeling even when we are apart. we've listened to ALOT of mark driscoll and matt chandler, and ive definitely seen areas i need to improve...ive learned that drew needs words of affirmation, and i need undivided attention. as soon as we figured that out, things got alot easier. not easy, just easier. we're still learning.

it's our two anniversary on saturday. i'll be at the beach, and he'll be at work. its really hard sometimes, to spend this special days apart, but we'll be okay. two years. it's flown by.

i love you honey. grow old with me.