im a b-list actor in a four star film.

i think i need to get much better at math.
i took anne jackson's challenge for fourty days of water for Africa (for the record, i am now six days in and have more energy than i have had in months, however being at starbucks drinking ethos water while smelling caramel machiattos is very tempting. i wouldn't recommend it). yesterday i took pastor pete wilson's challenge to go through the book of matthew in 28 days. thats alot of days to keep track of, and with my counting skills, i will no doubt read matthew in 40 days and drink water for 28. anyways, i am excited about the book of matthew. it has long been one of my FAVORITE books of the bible, right up there with job and esther. matthew is just packed full of so many truths and lessons. seeing as i forgot to read matthew last night, i started tonight (apparently i am not very good at doing these challenge things), and read two chapters. now, matthew appears to start a little nondescript. it lays out the lineage of Jesus, a lineage filled with ordinary, messed-up people who made an un-ordinary choice to believe what they had not yet seen.
i love that tamar and rahab are in that list.
a harlot and a rape victim.
david's also in there, a man who committed adultery.
along with abraham, a man who lied about his wife.
and let's not forget jacob, who wrestled with an angel, and came away with a limp.
what a cast of characters. and what a lineage of faith.

i find it so incredible that while casting the great motion picture of His story,
God chose all the b-list actors. i don't know about you, but if i were God, i might have wanted to choose, well...people with shinier reputations, perhaps.

i'm thankful God picks His people from a B-list and moves us into a sweeping picture of His mercy and redemption. sometimes, we don't see our parts. my part has felt pretty small lately. tonight i made the decision to postpone my trip to nashville, a trip i had waited and planned for for nearly a year. i was devastated, but financially, it wasn't a wise decision. i had prayed over it, and though sorely disappointed, knew now was just not the time. but tonight, the doors opened for me to travel to mexico in june, on a missions trip to build homes.

last week i was driving to school VERY early, anxious about the impending finals week, and very much sleep deprived and exhausted. to top it all off it was dark and it was raining. my university has what i believe are the world's deepest puddles. they might look small and shallow, my friends, but oh no, just step in one like i did, and i promise it went nearly to my knee. well okay, it was my ankle. but still...just wet enough to soak through my tights and my tan color heels. i ran back to my car to grab my jacket and umbrella and happened to glance up. there it was. a perfect sunrise. fiery red and blazing, splitting the storm clouds with its brilliance. i just stood there for a moment.

sometimes God writes the wet, dark, difficult parts of our story, and He gives us limited lines. but as we get more and more frustrated, it becomes clear that we have less lines and feel quite small...because He is readying the blazing sunrise. and it tears through our script like fire, reminding us who truly is Directing our moments.

i kinda like being a B-lister.